


where are you, tommy?

by redvox



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: DreamSMP - Freeform, Gen, So I had to write it, TommyInnit - Freeform, Tubbo - Freeform, actually writing it on time? crazy, i live in agony tubbos stream made me almost cry, implied suicide, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redvox/pseuds/redvox
Summary: tubbo makes it to the portal that takes him close to tommy's home and he pushes through, tripping over the obsidian and almost falling face-first into the dirt in front of tommy's portal.his eyes widen in pure fear.====spoiler for dec 16th dreamsmp streamstw for implied suicide, intentional lowercase./roleplay DSMP
Comments: 4
Kudos: 188





	where are you, tommy?

**Author's Note:**

> i plan on working on a full thing of SBI, like a family history that shows how they feel when everything goes down and this was gonna be part of it but i wanted to get it done ASAP cus im insane. enjoy <3
> 
> tw for implied suicide and spoilers for the dreamsmp streams on dec 16, 2020

tubbo sits and simply watches as techno climbs out of the cage holding him captive. the pigman had suddenly evaded death, something tubbo never thought could happen. once and for all the tyrant who added only more rubble to l'manburg would be brought to the gates of hell.

but that's too easy for tubbo, right? the curse of schlatt burdening his soul and weighing him down. the words of his ally have never left his brain: 'you're acting just like schlatt.' and maybe he was right, tubbo thinks, as he turns his head to look in the direction of where fundy and quackity run after the still-living war criminal. fundy had been the one to say it, just to hear the verbal agreement of everyone else. 

"if i can't be the next schlatt--" tubbo remembers saying this to his best friend, "--then you can't be the next wilbur soot." and the person he refers to, tommy, his best friend, his brother by adoption…

"i need to go see tommy," he blurts out in a moment of panic as he rushes into the nether portal. the purple fills his eyes before he's sent to another realm full of blistering heat and panic. but why is he panicking? 

the red netherrack burns his eyes and sends yet more panic through his body. he can't place why; it fills up his stomach with worry and fear. he runs along the path that leads to tommy's 'home-away-from-home.' his feet stomp against the floating rocks and he can only keep his eyes ahead. he can't look at the boiling pit of lava beneath him, the boiling pit that mimics his stomach and almost burps and gurgles in mockery. he slows his pace as he sees how different the path is in large patches, the green arrows being half-eaten by cobblestone and polished darkstone. it stops tubbo hard in his tracks and he feels a bursting fear in his chest. it swells his lungs and slows his breath as he stands on the beaten and worn path. 

"i wish i had this fucking compass," tubbo huffs and continues sprinting forward, ignoring how he thinks that the cobblestone shifted underneath his shoes. 

tubbo makes it to the portal that takes him close to tommy's home and he pushes through, tripping over the obsidian and almost falling face-first into the dirt in front of tommy's portal. 

his eyes widen in pure fear. 

logstedshire is covered in craters, as if someone took stacks of TNT and completely destroyed the place. right in front of the portal are the remains of once used to be a tent, and to the left are the broken tiki torches that resemble the ones from beaches in the movies. the fire from the torches still burn what is left of the grass and silently put themselves out once reaching the cold dirt below. tubbo takes hesitant steps towards the rubble of burnt, naked logs and ashes that were once trees which once used to be the city of the land. the mountains that surround the area loom ominously and cast shadows on top of tubbo and his conscious. he looks around for any sign of tommy, whether it be footprints in the ashes surrounding the land or a rustle of the leaves or the crunching of the crisp wood or the voice of tommy.

"tommy?" tubbo calls out, voice wavering on the verge of panic. he stands and waits for any voice to return as the moon above casts his shadow to be larger in size than what confidence he has. he hopes to some god above that tommy isn't dead, that maybe he just got knocked out by the blasts and hit his head off the rocks or the tree stumps and--

tubbo's eyes shoot upward to a pillar that reaches past the clouds and upwards to the heavens. his heart sinks further than the six-foot grave he has to make for his friend if he ever finds the body in the rubble. his stomach turns itself upside down and pushes itself into a flat line. he breathes once inward, but nothing comes out. his eyes glaze over with water, something akin to tears, and he doesn't succumb to letting go yet. but he pushes up the mountains and tries to reach the pillar, seeing just how tall it is as he walks closer. 

"tommy?!" tubbo yells out, this time trying to send his cracking voice upward to the pillar. he wishes he can see to the top, to see if tommy's sitting at the very top and just waiting for a witness. and then tubbo flicks his eyes to the rubble below the pillar--the remains of what used to be logstedshire--and finds no remnants of tommy. 

"tommy, where are you?!" it's less of a question and more of a request as the tears fall from his eyes and slide down his face. his hands shake with fear and panic, tugging at the hem of his suit and playing with the threads that have yet to be trimmed. "tommy?!" he looks back upward and tries to step backward to see if there's any shadow.

and there's nothing to signal that tommy was ever here to begin with.

tubbo takes a deep breath in and lets a short exhale come out his mouth as he fights back the urge to sob. he rushes past the pillar and to the large sea in front of his feet. he looks for the red of his shirt, the green of his neck scarf, a shoe, a sock, a strand of hair, a signal of tommy--

nothing. there's absolutely nothing.

tubbo falls to his knees in the sand, bones crashing into one another. he pushes his hands down into the sand, the powder getting colder as he digs downward. his back arches as he leans downward, mouth opening to get ready for something to come out. his eyes are pouring out tears; one by one they fall from such sad eyes onto such cold sand.

he screams, and he sobs. it's a sob-scream as he curls his hands around the sand and tries to grip it tight enough to form it into a solid chunk in his sweaty palms. the tears come as a waterfall, rushing from his eyes and swiftly falling from his face to the ground below. he screams in the direction of the sand and lifts one hand to bang it off of the finite rocks. he feels nothing but guilt flow over his body, coating his wails of agony with raw sadness and anger. 

he's so angry he ever listened to dream, that tommy is so selfish to only care about those stupid music discs, that he had somehow walked on eggshells for so long just to end up closer to becoming such a president he despised, that tommy had been banished for so long and tubbo never thought once to ever check on him, that--

"i'm sorry!" tubbo screams in agony, the tears falling from his face slowly starting to cease and his throat numb. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." he pushes his head downward into one hand and frees the other from the cold sand, using the other to tug at the mess his hair is in and yank on the tight and knotted curls. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry."

tubbo sits in silence for a bit, his throat numb and ripped from screaming. his eyes are sore and red with how much he had cried. he feels empty of emotion yet full of such overwhelming sadness he can't balance out the two. what he had left, the only close friend, the only brother he could ever find such comfort and love in, is gone. the one he loved more than he loved his stupid l'manburg, how much he had cared and worked together with tommy, always having his back in whatever he wanted to do--gone. 

it is all gone. everything tubbo lived for is gone. gone. gone forever.


End file.
